The First Five Minutes

Before you press play

"We are about to watch a 29-minute film called Buddy Check for Jesse. It is about a father named Stu Gershman, his son Jesse, and what Stu started doing in hockey dressing rooms after Jesse died. It talks about suicide. It does not show it."

"Two things before we start. If you need to step out at any point, go. You do not need to ask me and you do not need to explain. And is here today if you want to talk to someone afterward. You can find them ."

Then ask them, do not tell them

"Before we start. What do we need from each other to talk about something like this? What are the rules in here for the next hour?"

[Write what they say where everyone can see it. If the room is quiet, offer these and let them add to them.]

"What is said here stays here. Nobody has to talk, and passing is a full answer. You can leave. Speak for yourself, not for someone who is not here. Nobody is trying to win an argument."

When the credits end

[Wait. Ten seconds is longer than it sounds. Do not fill it.]

"Take a second." Then pick one of these and ask only that one.

• "What stayed with you?"
• "What surprised you?"
• "Who were you thinking about while you watched that?"

If someone tells you something afterward

"Thank you for telling me. I am going to stay with you while we work out who you talk to next."

Then follow the six steps on the facilitator quick sheet. Do not promise secrecy, do not ask for details, and tell someone yourself afterward.